Palisades released the worst song of 2014 just in time!

I’ve always been taught to never write a review on anything if it’s just going to be negative, to avoid using clouded judgement. This is advice I just can’t take tonight.

We have just a few more days left of the year, which has actually been a pretty good one for music in general. The charts have been crammed with genuinely catchy tracks and actual talent, and each genre has had something to shout about – be it Bring Me The Horizon truly breaking into the mainstream with the anthemic Drown, and the rise of classical music being adopted as the basis for newer dance tracks from outfits such as Clean Bandit. It seemed the deadline for ‘2014s Worst Song’ was about to pass with no real offensive contenders, but Jesus Christ.

I’m going to talk to you a little bit about Palisades. A relatively new act on Rise Records’ pretty impressive roster, they are just about to drop their difficult second album. I’ve streamed their first self-titled thing on Spotify and in the main, it’s not bad stuff. It suffers from the typical sameness that you get in the ‘scene’ that they are trying to be a part of, with pretty high pitched vocals & very bland screaming layered over thick breakdown-encrusted instrumentals and weird dubstep-y bits (just for the hell of it). I’m still a subscriber to the music that Rise puts out, because when metalcore is done correctly, it can be phenomenal.

“somehow, Palisades have found the perfect formula for the most jarring piece of music you’ve ever heard”

Palisades, as I said, are just about to unleash a new album upon us. Last week, I listened with stunted intrigue to the first single, Players Haters Ball, which features blackbear (although I have no idea quite what blackbear is). While I wasn’t too put off by the music, a large part of me felt like I’d heard it before and I wasn’t being swayed over by the lyrics either.

Tonight, I saw that Rise had released a new music video for their latest single, Mind Games feat, Champs (Again, I have no idea). First and foremost, it’s a very confused affair – you find yourself being battered by three bursts of pointless chugging layered with synths, and ten-a-penny trap drops that appeal to an audience that aren’t quite done with dubstep yet. These two elements of the song never properly cross paths – you feel like you’re listening to someone trying to use an iPhone remix app for the first time, and using two really shit songs. Somehow, Palisades have found the perfect formula for the most jarring piece of music you’ve ever heard.

“the guitarists and the drummer could actually leave the stage for a piss after the play button is pushed for the electronica bit, come back 2 minutes later and still just be in time to chug a little more”

There are three vocalists on this thing – the Palisades vocalist, who, for the most part, sings an inspiringly terrible chorus (I thought you were crazy in love, but you were just crazy oh oh, never again will I let you fuck with my head). The other two are ‘rappers’, one of them being Champ, the other one obviously not desperate for a name check. While the opening MC actually does a decent job and has a bit of uniqueness about him, it’s not enough to salvage a song that is evidently the result of too many ideas mashed up in one big pile.

I’m left wondering, “how will they even perform this live?” The guitarists and the drummer could actually leave the stage for a piss after the play button is pushed for the electronica bit, come back 2 minutes later and still just be in time to chug a little more.

Then there’s the video – I won’t describe it (mainly because I can’t), but it’s pretty epileptic. It basically followed the band around while they club it up, walk around their neighbourhood and dance with their iPhone’s in hand, but the quick movement throughout the whole thing is just nauseating and really doesn’t help the cause.

I’m not saying Palisades are a bad band. They are making simple music, much in the ‘party’ vein that bands such as Attila adhere themselves to, and that’s fine. Maybe this track is a duff one among an album of classics, but the albums not out yet so I can’t tell until maybe next year, when I’m so bored I think to myself “hey, that Palisades album might be worth a bash”. In the main, 2014 took it’s time, but it finally delivered to us what we deserve – the years token ‘shit song’. Let’s all get on with our lives, eh?

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@WillSaysStuff