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…..they probably wouldn’t be anything like the following fabricated nonsense.
What, did you think they wouldn’t feature in this piece? If you think a minor detail like ‘no longer being a band’ was going to stop me then you don’t know me at all. Stick around bud, you’ve got a lot to learn. Theannouncementthatmustnotbenamed. It’s almost been a year; together we made it fellow MCR loyalists. We’re over the hill, acceptance is washing over us in still slightly depressed waves and we wouldn’t say no to a reunion. So there you have it, My Chemical Romance’s New Year’s resolution – to get back together and release the myth that is MCR 5. I know it isn’t going to happen. You know it isn’t going to happen. It’s more likely that Escape the Fate and Falling in Reverse will bury the hatchet.
Besides throwing in the towel and abandoning music altogether, quietly leaving to live a life selling coontail hair extensions on big cartel, there isn’t much else you could possibly want their resolution to be. To give them a fighting chance here’s a second option. New Year’s resolution plan B – write songs that don’t come across as seedy, grimy and make everyone within a 10 mile radius need to shot bleach. Of course that’s not all they write, there is the odd inspired song about haters and how they don’t care so hate away, yet they continue to fill half an album with not caring. If they were aiming to create the musical equivalent of the Black Death then they can call their career a success. If not, A or B?
2013 belonged to Cyrus. Whether you call her queen or wreck she conquered last year, and all thanks to a little thing we like to call controversy. Is she naked on a wrecking ball??? Twerking? THICKE?! Yes to all of them. Miley is one of the most intelligent artists to come out of the music industry in recent years. Do you honestly think she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing? When sales are sky rocketing, tours are selling out and Cyrus’ event calendar is fuller than you after 3 courses at Frankie and Benny’s, it’s clear Miley holds all the cards. For 2014 Miley’s resolution should simply be to keep on doing what she’s doing. A winning formula has been carefully crafted and no amount of butter wouldn’t melt in my child’s mouth mothers are going to dent that formula.
Coming soon on Sans Sheriff: All 3 of us have had finance by now so we’ll be off buying 75 jars of Millions off Amazon. Ciao.